August 2012. That was the month and the year that my life changed in a tremendous way. There had been plenty of other changes before that time- graduating, starting jobs, responsibilities, growing in skills… a lot of things had happened. Yet, there was one change that I hadn’t ever encountered before- transitioning over to the seminary. While that may not seem like such a big deal, I hadn’t really been away from my family for such a long time, and yet, here I was going on a new journey. I remember the evening when my family dropped me off- for a time, there was this fear of that separation, and that, even as time went on and I adjusted to being away from my own brothers, mom, and dad, I was adopting a new family of sorts in the seminary.
Family is something that is central to who we are- it often defines the ways we interact, the ways we look at the world, and even what we believe. Sometimes these things are more influential than at other times, and sometimes family may not have played a big role. Nonetheless, it is an important reality in our lives, and continues to be so, even long after we might move on to college, to careers, or even to a religious vocation. Today, we celebrate a particular family, being called the Holy Family of Jesus, Mary and Joseph. We celebrate the fact that, even Jesus Himself took up a mother and a foster father- and experienced a reality we all have in our lives. Yet, why is this such an important moment?
If we turn to the first reading, we read from the book of Sirach. One can think of this writing a lot like the book of Wisdom. It is trying to give the reader and audience some sense of good things to concern oneself with. In this particular case, it elaborates on the structure of a household. So, we are reminded that a father is in his place, because God the Father puts him in that place. Because of the honor due an earthly father is of such value, one who honors their father experiences forgiveness of sin. Further, we are reminded that one “stores up riches who reveres his mother.”
Even when it comes to children becoming parents- it reminds us that this can have lasting effects even into the next generation. Then, we even get into the fact that fatherhood isn’t something that just exists for a time, but is something that lasts as long as a father will live. Even in infirmity and illness- he is still due honor, largely due to the place that God has set aside for him in being that governing and uniting force that should reign at the helm of a family.
Next, we move on to the letter to the Colossians. This also is an exhortation for the people who are listening and paying attention- that the audience should hear what God is encouraging them to do. So, it begins- put on, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, bearing with one another and forgiving one another if one has a grievance against another. I don’t know about all of you, but as I hear this particular reading, and I think about being the oldest of six boys in my family, I can’t help but think about how hard and difficult it can be to live these things out- especially in a family setting.
Often, friendships are easy to live this way, we pick our friends, but we certainly do not pick our family. Nonetheless, this likely strikes true for all of us- we have to be a people of kindness, of generosity, of forgiveness, of all of these different virtues- and finally we get to the fundamental one. The bond of perfection- putting on love- doing everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him. This continues to lay out the fact that we live in virtue- and that is something that is not done in simply an individualistic way- but every time we choose kindness, it is in view of another. Forgiveness, most often in view of another. Love- often is in view of the other. That is what this letter to the Colossians is exhorting us to do!
Finally, we arrive at the Gospel according to Luke. We are told that Mary and Joseph went to Jerusalem every year for the feast of the Passover- and Jesus went along, and was at that time twelve years old. When the time came for them to go back, they simply started to return, and yet, there was a problem- Jesus was not with them. They realize this a day out, have to return another day’s journey, and then are looking for Him. We can all imagine that grief and the fear and anxiety that would have been there in their minds. Lo and behold, they eventually come upon Jesus, and He is to be found in the temple. He isn’t just hanging around there either- but He is engaging with the teachers- and showing a high degree of understanding in His grasp- and everyone is amazed.
Yet, there comes a question- Mary asks “Son, why have you done this to us?” We are allowed a glimpse into a moment of humanity- a moment where there is fear and anxiety, even in Mary and Joseph in some small way. They are looking for their lost child in much the same way that we would ourselves. It is surprising, then, to see the answer that Jesus gives- “Why were you looking for me? Did you not know that I must be in my Father’s house?” It might seem like an insensitive answer- yet, there is something to this. Jesus’s mission is not going to be easy to accept in his family, particularly for Mary’s part. Nonetheless, it is going to have to go forward- He is putting following God above all else, even to the point that it might seem to be dismissive. It goes without saying here that we do have to understand that Jesus is tender and caring: he returns to home with them, and is obedient to them. It isn’t this rebellious way of answering- but He reminds them of His mission, even in a small way.
As we consider all of these things- what are we to take away from this?
First, we should note the sanctity of the family. Jesus Christ Himself elevated this sacred structure with His family- and shows us just how important and vital it is, even to the life of the Church. We need to be a church constantly growing, especially in our youth. Yet, it isn’t just about what Jesus did as some sort of unattainable ideal- but it is about seeing the ways that we can also imitate that Holy Family. It isn’t out of the question that each of us can grow in our relationship with our family. Perhaps we should show a little more honor and respect to our parents, even if we are out of the house. Maybe we should leave the sarcasm behind every once in a while, and actually speak from the heart- and speak in love and truth to one another- as uncomfortable as it may be. Perhaps we need to reach out in forgiveness to one another, whether parents, children, or siblings, because it isn’t always easy.
The reality that we often run into, my brothers and sisters, is that our families aren’t always up to the ideals of that Holy Family of Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. We may not even be close, and in fact, we may feel like family drives us the other direction. That is not up to us to decide, though. What is up to us to figure out is the ways that we can pursue holiness, no matter whatever brokenness or imperfections may exist in our families- and even in our extended family of faith.
Further, even if we feel like we might have it together in our biological family- our parents, and our siblings, what about the larger human family? Are there members of authority over us that should have due honor and respect, whether or not it seems like they deserve it? Should we limit that gossip and backbiting that might take place? Or are there brothers and sisters in Christ that really make it challenging for us to be virtuous? Because, those are the places that the grace of the Holy Family wants to enter into our lives. It challenges us all to seek after the ideal placed before us in all of our relationships- and even if we aren’t perfect- we still strive to be like the Holy Family in all we do. So, let us be thankful for the gift of family, and use it to live virtuously, and to seek further after the kingdom of God. We may not quite resemble the Holy Family, but by God’s help and our due effort, we can certainly reach further towards that reality and that goal.
